I really wanted to see this when it came out in the theatre, but like most movies, I never did. So Netflix it is! And am I glad I waited.

Smokin’ Aces isn’t bad like Ghostbusters 2, but it’s just not good. There is a lot of cool violence, just not a lot of story. It’s got a star studded cast that gets no chance to actually act and Ryan Reynolds steals the whole movie for me because he isn’t playing Van Wilder. I didn’t know he had any acting ability but he slightly proves he does in this movie.

Bottom line: If you like shootouts, weird characters, less story than a porno, an ending you can see from across the country, and Alicia Keys actually looking hot, than this movie is for you. If you don’t like any of those, go rent Shaun of the Dead….man I love that movie.

If you don’t recognize the name, odds are there’s a reason.

Go ahead, congratulate me.

Redpac’s newest writer is here. *Cheers, applause, etc…*

Well, enough with the formalities. On to the brass bits, eh?
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I hated this book and the movie was just as crappy. You can’t rub shit and turn it into gold. Poor bastards, they tried with the shit they were given, they really did, but the best acting in the world couldn’t have made this any better than Glitter.

Well after a long hiatus of having drunkenly forgetting my login & password I am back to tell you what I thought about the recently released Hannibal Rising.

Now I will start off telling you I am a big fan of the movies in this franchise mainly Silence of the Lambs, Red Dragon and even Manhunter (despite being made prior to SOTL) was damn good. Hannibal itself…not so much. Well I ended up scoping this movie just on the chance that this would be better than Hannibal and indeed it was. I must add, this was not by any means a well educated and chilling thriller like Silence of the lambs by a longshot. But it was indeed better than Hannibal. Mainly because Hannibal Rising was just a ton more fun to watch with the expected mindless carnage and over the top bad dialogue over the extremely badly executed Hannibal with it’s terribly stupid brain munching scene.

Since Hannibal Rising wasn’t by any means a well done movie but instead just simply a better film than Hannibal I won’t go into detail. I’d assume if you are a fan of the franchise you will see this movie anyway. Out of 5 Camo 40ozs I’ll give this a 2.

I think I chuckled once during this pathetic piece of crap. I can’t even be bothered to explain the stupidity of the plot. I had hopes it would be stupid funny but it wasn’t even close, just plain boring. In fact it sucked more than a dead elephant’s nuts covered in feces and that juice along on Bourbon Street around 3 AM during Mardi Gras that’s a combination of booze, urine, lead from cheap beads and tons of vomit.

By the way, the former Mr. Alanis Morissette, Ryan Reynolds. is one of the top 5 acting hacks of all time.

There’s a liqour store near me that claims to have 659 different beers. That sounds like a challenge. One of them I noticed was Bell’s Oberon.

The last year or 2, across the net when refreshing summer beers came up someone would blurt out Bell’s Oberon. This got me curious, if that many people felt so strongly about it it has to be good.

Well, it’s ok. I mean it’s not Old Milwaukee but it’s no Sam Adams White Ale either. It’s just ok.

If I was passed one from a cooler I wouldn’t turn it down but buying it again would be a no.

I have a reading disorder. When I read a something on a store shelf and see something I like I grab it and assume it’s great. Of course when I read the whole label I realize I’m a moron.

That’s what happened in this case. I’m not a big fan of stouts yet I saw vanilla cream and thought, “I love me some cream soda, I should love this here vanilla cream beer!” After one sip I realized something wasn’t right and re-read the label.

So how does this rate? Taking into account my dislike of stouts, this isn’t horrible. A better rating would be mediocre. My best description is to take Guinness and pour a lot of water into it and you have this. Take it if it’s free, otherwise pass.

Roundeye was working overnight, CM Punk was set to do another promo on ECW, and the Sox were playing Detroit in the battle of the best records in baseball. I needed proper refreshment to get me through the night. I dropped by Bee Bee’s and got a sixer of Sam Adam’s Cherry Wheat.

Man, this stuff tastes like old school red pop I used to get at Jewel when I was a kid. The 4 seen here went down smooth like I was drinking soda. And the buzz was nice since I hadn’t eaten in hours. I would have finished the sixer but midnight passed and I’m a sally.

To sum up, Sam Adams Cherry Wheat, worth the money to get your drunk on.

Next day follow up:
I don’t know if it was the beer or something else, but I feel like uber crap today.

Holy crap is this stuff good. I finished off the entire jar tonight sitting in a hotel room in Vermont.

This is the medium and it’s got a nice little kick. Your first bite is a sweet taste burst. The sweet lingers as the heat reaches the back of your tongue giving you just enough heat to want more.

This would make an awesome marinade and when I get home and get around to buying gas for my grill I’m making some raspberry chipotle chicken for the entire block!

Get it, eat it, love it bitches!

Paradox Smoke productions loves this site…at least according to their form letter that asked if I could review their move Screen Door Jesus. Who am I to turn down empty flattery. I called up, asked for a DVD and a week later I’m ready to view this indie masterpiece or possibly indie piece of crap. Thankfully it was more of the former. It will not cause the sensation of a Napoleon Dynamite but still I’d recommend it.

Clocking in at just less than 2 hours, it fit nicely on the flight from Burlington, VT to Chicago. The first 45 minutes or so is all groundwork, and there is a lot of it. I almost gave up on it a couple of times. I just might have if I wasn’t on a flight or if I had something else to watch.
The other negative is amount of characters. A large amount for a indie film it was hard to keep everyone straight during this groundwork. I couldn’t tell you the names of most of them after the film either. Not sure if that’s a bad thing but by the end I remember all the personalities.

The good thing is the groundwork pays off. Takes a lot to get through but it finally comes together about an hour in. The spiritual conflicts begin to join one another and we finally start to understand the characters.

Personally, I like movies like this; a realistic dissection of peoples actions, re-actions and beliefs. Movies like this would be a better starting ground for religious discussions than the gore infested Passion Of The Christ. In the end everyone has to decide for themselves what’s right and wrong, not just in the eyes of God but what they truly believe in their heart; those two things don’t always match up.

Some of it could be trimmed, the white guilt family could be taken out and I would miss a thing, but it doesn’t detract enough to bring the movie down. It’s won’t be everyone’s cup of tea but I enjoyed it and would recommend it to certain friends I know who could handle it.